tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post114751650750934473..comments2023-11-02T13:02:02.590+05:30Comments on Basket Case: अम्बर का छोटा सा टुकडाabhagahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02584059046263945740noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147834922143663112006-05-17T08:32:00.000+05:302006-05-17T08:32:00.000+05:30Kaafi pyari kalpna hai - soch raha tha kuch poetic...Kaafi pyari kalpna hai - soch raha tha kuch poetic sa comment maaroon lekin jo bhi sochta hoon aapki kavita padhke phir delete kar deta hoon!Madhur Tulsianihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03109444438348291138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147683929263197842006-05-15T14:35:00.000+05:302006-05-15T14:35:00.000+05:30About the meter: I wanted to write a free verse po...About the meter: I wanted to write a free verse poem and I ended up writing this one. I know that the verse is not the same through out but I cannot place where is meter going haywire. Can you point that out.<BR/><BR/>About the thought: I can try to explain but I will just say that after reading it 2-3 times, you may actually see what the initial paragraphs mean. I think I have said only what I wanted to say :)abhagahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02584059046263945740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147674657390998232006-05-15T12:00:00.000+05:302006-05-15T12:00:00.000+05:30To be honest, I didn't like it. You've woven a muc...To be honest, I didn't like it. You've woven a much-too-longer thread than you can handle. My suggestion: make it shorter and force more control on your meter that goes haywire throughout the poem. The sound of the poem is like driving on a road full of potholes. <BR/><BR/>As for the thought, once the mood is set, you are actually not moving anywhere. Its repititiveness might even get on my nerves on second/third reading. So it should not be a bad idea to remove some fat off it.<BR/><BR/>-- AkshayaBravehearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05308475620546610952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147672920122494612006-05-15T11:32:00.000+05:302006-05-15T11:32:00.000+05:30mazza aa gaya...waiting for more :)Bahut acchi hai...mazza aa gaya...waiting for more :)<BR/>Bahut acchi hai poem!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147671587731974222006-05-15T11:09:00.000+05:302006-05-15T11:09:00.000+05:30दूर देश मे बसा अभागा,तुमको याद किया करता है।पास नह...दूर देश मे बसा अभागा,<BR/>तुमको याद किया करता है।<BR/>पास नही तुम हो तो मुझसे,<BR/>दिल का हाल कहा करता है।<BR/><BR/>door desh me basa abhaga kisko yaad kiya karta hai?Veeresh_Milind276https://www.blogger.com/profile/17853874411491205815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6209068.post-1147613662686753782006-05-14T19:04:00.000+05:302006-05-14T19:04:00.000+05:30कभी जो धुन्धलाती शामों मे,मन एकाकी सा हो जाता,खोल ...कभी जो धुन्धलाती शामों मे,<BR/>मन एकाकी सा हो जाता,<BR/>खोल पिटारे,ला कर तारे,<BR/>साथ मेरे खेला करता है।<BR/><BR/>-my fav part of your poem :)<BR/><BR/>btw....great poem and wonderful hindiEnjoy Life!!https://www.blogger.com/profile/13643498440435913092noreply@blogger.com